Your Love Is A Lie
by Anne van Lieshout
Summary: 'The kisses become less. From pecking my lips, it went to giving a soft kiss on my cheek. Eventually, she'd only stroke my hand, or just a little wave. In the end, she didn't even say a single word.' We all know the familiar story of Beck cheating on Jade. But what if the tables were turned? What if Jade was having an affair with one of Beck's closest friends?


_._

_I fell asleep by the telephone, telephone, it's 2 o'clock and I'm waiting up alone.  
Tell me, where have you been, where have you been? _

_._

Where's Jade? She said she'd be here by 8 o'clock, and it's 11:34 p.m. Her phone is off, and I've sent millions of text messages. I'm getting worried.  
A knock on the door. I must have fallen asleep. I quickly check my phone. 2:03 a.m. Who could it be?  
"Jade?" I'm confused. "Where were you?"  
"At Cat's," she quickly retorts, giving me a quick peck on the cheek before entering. _Something's different. _"I'm sorry I'm so late."  
"It's cool," I mumble, but something is still aching me at the back of my head. _Cat's visiting her brother at the mental institution. Something's not right. _

_._

_I found a note with another name, another name. You blow a kiss but it just don't feel the same.  
'Cause I can feel that you're gone, feel that you're gone. _

_._

I enter Sikowitz' classroom without Jade. Robbie looks up, and gives me a confused expression. I just shake my head, and take a seat next to him.  
Tori starts to tell me a story about Trina's new shoes, when I see her come in. She looks a mess. Her hair looks wild, and her face tells me she was in a rush.  
"Hey babe," she mumbles, giving me a quick kiss on my cheek before sitting down. Her touch felt different…  
"Where were you?" I whisper, while Sikowitz makes Tori do a scene. "And where's Andre?"  
"I…" she starts, and tries to look me in the eyes. "I just… Didn't hear my alarm this morning. I don't know where Andre is."  
I nod, and shake it off me. _Don't get suspicious Beck. You need to trust her. _  
When the bell rings, I want to talk to Jade, but she storms off before I can turn to face her. In her rush, she drops a little paper. I pick it up, and open it carefully.  
_Hey Andre,  
See you again tonight? I already miss you.  
X Jade.  
_I feel myself going pale, and I destroy the little note. She didn't know where he was, huh?

_._

_I can't bite my tongue forever, while you try to play it cool.  
You can hide behind your stories, but don't take me for a fool._

_._

"What the fuck is this?" I yell, throwing the note at Jade's chest. As she picks it up and reads it with big eyes. She eventually looks at me.  
"I…" she stutters, playing with her skirt. "I was just helping him with a project."  
"What project?" I shout. I still don't believe her.  
"For the Full Moon Jam. He asked me to help him, and he seemed kind of desperate," she mumbles. "And I guess Andre's kind of my friend."  
I sigh and let my hand go through my dark hair.  
"Beck," she whispers, grabbing my hand. It feels cold. "I would never cheat on you."  
I look her in the eyes, but I don't see _my_ Jade anymore. I really wish I could believe those beautiful, yet strong blue eyes, shining at me right now. But I can't. Something's changed.

_._

_You can tell me that there's nobody else, but I feel it.  
You can tell me that you're home by yourself, but I see it._

_. _

The kisses become less. From pecking my lips, it went to giving a soft kiss on my cheek. Eventually, she'd only stroke my hand, or just a little wave. In the end, she didn't even say a single word.  
"Jade?" I ask her, but she doesn't look at me. "Jade, look at me!"  
She slowly turns around, and faces me in the twin bed. I can feel the cool air under the blanket, drifting with the little breeze in between us. The space that seems to be growing every day. Every day…  
"I love you," I whisper, and I see her eyes glistening with guilt. "I hope you know that."  
She silently nods. Not a kiss. Not a word. Not even a smile. A single nod.

_._

_You can look into my eyes and pretend, all you want.  
But I know… I know, you're love is just a lie, lie._

_. _

Her locker is still covered with those fascinating scissors. I guess some things never change.  
Jade slowly walks towards me, through the empty hallways. Her eyes rest on mine, and I force out a smile. I hand her the coffee I got. It's still warm.  
"Hey," I say. No reply. She doesn't even look at me when I give her the bitter substance. "Let's go."  
She nods, and walks towards the parking lot. Suddenly, she turns around, and faces me.  
"Actually," she says, trying to look as innocent as possible. "I… Have something to do. For school."  
"With who?" I don't need to guess anymore. I already know it.  
"Cat," she quickly retorts. _It's a lie. _"And I'll stay the night, so you don't have to be worried."  
I nod, and without saying another word I enter my car and drive home. _  
Why am I still doing this to myself? Why can't I just finish this relationship? I know it's already over… _

_._

_It's nothing but a lie, lie. You're love is just a lie, lie.  
You're nothing but a lie, lie._

_. _

One night. I'm only doing this for one more night. Then it's done.  
But there she is. Looking more beautiful than ever. I smile at her, but of course, she never smiles back.  
"Hey," I whisper. Silence. _Finish it now. _"We need to talk."  
"You're breaking up with me?" she quickly snaps. "Because I've been a horrible girlfriend."  
"No," I cut her off. "It's not that."  
"Yes it is!" she screams. "I'm sorry Beck. It's just it has been really busy lately, and things weren't going so right between us, and…"  
She's crying. Wait… Jade West never cries.  
I hesitantly wrap an arm around her. Her cold body somehow feels wrong against my skin. It doesn't feel like I'm holding her. It feels like she's slowly slipping away.

_. _

_You look so innocent, innocent, but the guilt in your voice gives you away.  
Yeah, you know what I mean, know what I mean… _

_. _

Prom night. Or as Tori calls it; 'Prome night'. I wasn't there last time, and I wish I was. Jade had apparently ruined it, because of her 'pranks'. And those can go out of hand…  
Jade grabs my hand while we walk towards the gang. I see Andre, looking weird at our entangled hands. My suspicions grow high again, but I try to ignore it.  
"Hey Robbie," Cat starts, breaking the awkward stares and silence. "Want to dance?"  
"Sure," he replies, having a great smile on his face. Why aren't they dating yet?  
"So…" Tori says, looking in between Andre and me. "How's everybody doing?"  
I glance over at her, and give her a little smile. I look at Jade, but wish I hadn't. She dreamily looks over at Andre, who grins back. I let go off her hand immediately, and walk away, letting my hand go through my hair.  
"Beck!" I don't turn around. _End it. Now. _"Beck!"  
Jade quickly grabs my arm, forcing me to turn around. I sigh and look her in the eyes.  
"Jade," I start, but see the tears welling up in her eyes. Those eyes. _I loved them once. _  
"If you're going to break up with me," she quietly sobs. "then just get it over with."  
I sigh, and open my mouth. About to say those words, ending this. _This. _  
4 years. We're graduating next year. All the plans. The break-ups. The fights. The tears, the screaming, the yelling. But also the smiles. The laughs. The happiness. And the love. _Am I really going to give it all up? _  
Everything has changed. I see the way they look at each other. _Why can't I just do it? It's over._ _She _knows it. _He_ knows it._ They_ know it. And I know it. But I can't. I can't let go of the one person I love.

_. _

_How does it feel when you kiss and you know that I trust you?  
And do you think about me when he fucks you?  
Could you be more obscene, more obscene? _

_. _

Another note.  
_Hey Andre,  
Beck is growing suspicious, so maybe we shouldn't do it tonight? I'll come Friday. I'm going to die not being with you.  
Xo Jade.  
P.S. I love you.  
_This couldn't be more obvious. I mean, it's right there in the note.  
I'm waiting by his locker. The so fucking stupid locker. I feel like breaking something. _Calm down, Beck. Try to be cool.  
_There he is. With _her. _  
"Hey Andre!" I yell, and he immediately pulls back his arm. It was around _her_ waist. That's where my hands used to be.  
"Hey Beck," Andre says. "Didn't know you were still here."  
"Yeah, and you didn't know I was going to do this!" I yell, and give him a hard punch in the nose.  
"Beck!" A scream. Far away, I believe it was her.  
"What the fuck man?" Andre yells, and pushes me away.  
"Don't touch me!" I yell, spitting in his face.  
"What's your problem?" he snaps back. I see the anger in his eyes.  
"My problem, is you!" I spit, punching him in the jaw. "And fucking my girlfriend every night!"  
It's out. They know. They know that I know. _But it was obvious, wasn't it? _  
Andre stumbles back, and looks at me. His lips is bleeding, and he wipes away the red liquid with his sleeve.  
"Beck," Jade whispers, grabbing my arm. "Please."  
"Don't touch me," I calmly say, not trying to shake her off. This will probably be the last time she'll hold me. "Please."  
"Beck," Jade cries, grabbing my other arm, forcing me to look in her eyes. "Stop."  
"I'm sorry Jade," I whisper, and I feel the tears piercing in my eyes. "I thought… Maybe it would just go away. Maybe I made a mistake. But I knew it. Deep down I knew it. And you know why I ignored it?"  
She shakes her head a little, still looking me in the eyes. Not letting me go, just yet.  
"Because I loved you."

.


End file.
